m0dernlovest0ry

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 00:31:45 GMT

Ok well i'm going to start of with my little fag bag Gary. Gary well you've been there for me thru alot. You've seen me in alot of different stages of my life and you've been by my side thru it all. We've had some crazy times together and they only get better and you only get gayer. haha it's true because when i met you, you were still kind of straight! haha i fucking love you dude so much. We're going to fucking grow old together and i can't fucking wait to see you as a gay old man still talking about fucking whatever guy. haha. I love you more then you'd know and i'm going to get your penis tattooed on my leg and you're getting my vag tatted on yours. That's love <3 I love you ya gay lil' cunt <3

Jamie ha where the fuck do i start with you? I haven't even know you for a whole year and you're already like the biggest fucking part of my life. Seriously we've done so much together and have so many ridic memories and shit. We fucking went to Cali together, almost killed ourselves in Florida, and we even got to chill together in New york. I honestly feel like we've only just begun. The world is not ready. ha. I miss our random trips to far off places in Florida. ha Us walking home from Old PAsadena then meeting the cuitest old lady, Louisa <3 haha. You're seriousyl like fucking family to me and i'd do anything for you. I've got ya back no matter what nigga. Remember that shit. So if you ever feel like you're alone and the world is crumbling around you just know i'll be there with glue and try to put it back together piece by piece. Watch when i get my JL Diamond nigga! ha. Altho I rarely say it to you I love you and you know that. fuck bffs we're better then that shit. You mah nigga 4L haha ily <3

Devin: Oh my fucking god i love you. You put a smile on my face no matter what. Honestly you're the only person that can make me laugh so hard that i start fucking crying. You seriously own such a huge chunk of my heart. It's just sad we don't get to chill as much as i'd like to. You're what dreams are made of! haha i'm so smooth. Ily4l

Danny, my fucking brother... haha well I shouldn't really say that. You mean alot to me nigga always have and always will. You put up with alot of my bullshit and stick around and i love you for that. You're a loyal friend and I promise to stay just as loyal. <3

i'm way too tired to finish i'm taking a nap.

California.......

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 18:05:07 GMT

so basically Southern California is waste of space.

BYE

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 21:45:44 GMT

i wana do it.

Last weekend in Florida.....

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 20:34:23 GMT

So tomorrow is my birthday then 5 days later i leave to California.

On Tuesday Christina took me to see Head Automatica which i fucking loved because i haven't seen Dayrl since i moved from New York. I saw him after the show and he recognized me and he's like 'YOU MOVED HERE??!' ha I love that man. We were talking for a while about running into each other at the mall like 3 years ago and how he has a picture of us that day on his computer and stuff. and all the other times we've seen each other and about me going to Cali and other stuff. I made him laugh and he was all like 'haha you're so cute' I turned fucking red. I'm glad i'm a familiar face to him, that makes me happy.

Anyways i'm totally stoked about Cali soon. I can't wait to see mah nigga James and dem. It's going to be hella fun, my cousin wants to take me to Vegas and shit so that should be dope. Jamie and James by my side it's going to be sickkkkkkkkk.

I want to fucking do soemthing this weekend before i leave motha fuckas so show your fucking face!

I have nothing more to write bye.

fuck

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:24:20 GMT

So I realized.....

I'm not myself anymore. I haven't been for a really long time actually. I'm not the same Sabrina i was in New York at all. I was really different. I never gave a shit about anything, i did whatever i pleased without caring what people thought about it. I knew how to have lots of fun. I was a different person inside. Now I don't even know who i am. I hang out with Jamie all the time and she doesn't even know the real Sabrina. She knows this fucking weird thing i've become since moving out here. I really hope me going to Cali will help bring th eold me back. I think it has to do with the people i'm around. I miss my friends in n.y. I miss my boys so fucking much, i never gave a fuck when i was around them i was me, begining to end. I was funny, witty, outgoing, just everything i'm not now. Now i'm just fucking weird. I hate it. FUCK! I want to be me again, I want that feeling of freedom i once had. I dno't want to hold back anymore. I just want to be fucking happy. I miss those who brought out the real me. <3

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:51:52 GMT

I'm so fucking stoked!!!!

My birthday is coming up and that's pretty fucking sweet. I'll be 21 which doesn't really make a difference to me because i don't drink but whatever it's still exiciting because i can get into wherever i want to go now. My birthday falls on a Friday which is tight because I get the whole weekend to celebrate. Then 5 days later on the 30th me and Jamie head out to fucking CALIFORNIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuck i'm hella stoked on that shit. I can't fucking wait to just go somewhere else, somewhere new, somewhere not here.

When i used to live in Cali i LOVED it, even tho i was young i just had so much fun chilling on my own and shit. I get to see my cousin Linda who i haven't seen in a while she's fucking dope as shit. Then of course there's James and his peoples, and i'll be there with fucking Jelly by my sideeeeeeee.

FUCK OUT HEAAAAAAAAAA!

fuck i'm excited! I want to see everyone before i leave tho.

I've dying to get it into you somehow....

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 21:16:57 GMT

Me and Jamie are running away from Florida together, wEwt!

yeaaa we're getting out of Florida and heading west. Then from there N.Y hopefully. I'm nervous/excited/anxious about going to Cali! I get to see my nigga James and Ian-loc. yeaaaa so i'm pretty stoked about that. and i'll have my nigga lip jamie by my side. SOO FUCKING AWESOME!

Then from there i'm going to try to hit up N.Y. See what happens there. I miss it like crazy. I miss everyone there so fukcing much. ugh let me not even get fucking started on that.

I have a new addiction, I fucking love it because it's a good one. I'm all about working out. I'm trying to get back to the way i used to be before i got all gross in Florida. Florida makes you fucking lazy and gross dude. but fuck that. I may not have the city to walk around everyday and underground skatepark to pretty much live at but i'm going to start doing my own thing at home and at the gym and wherever. my abs are so sore i fucking love it. I cut down on how much i eat. I used to eat like a beast but not i'm doing better. no fast food or anything. the only ice cream i have is dairy free so yea that's good. oh man i'm so stoked to see the outcome. So yea if you ever want to go for a run or something let me know and we'll go. It's such a good rush, it makes you feel so fucking good. LET'S GO!

I want to start doing mixed martial arts. Yea i want to fight. seriously i want to train for that so bad. fuck!

i'm about to work out now bye.

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 03:07:56 GMT

Garys gone.

Jeffs gone.

Jamies still around which is all that matters.

Me and her are heading west?

oh life.

<3

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 20:23:46 GMT

i suck at living for making Gary wait so long to go back to Orlando. He's stuck in this boring ass town i hate my existance bye.

Someone get this man some dick!

Gay week

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 22:26:36 GMT

So my gay lover is here from n.y and it's already been hella fun. It's oging to be a good fucking week!

Bloated dreams

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 23:22:46 GMT

don't you wish you can have a sign above your head telling people you're really not that fat you're just bloated?

yea

Don't let the world bring you down.

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 21:06:30 GMT

Lately i've been pretty shitty. I rarely see any Spring Hill heads. Moose, Mush, Reyes, Tyler... ect ect. I miss there faces. I just find i'm the happiest outside of S.H no offense to the people here but it's the place. I like being surrounded by 234856 people and buildings and all that lame shit. I promise before i go anywhere (move) i'm going to see everyone. Altho i'm pretty fucking sure everyone fucking hates me right now.

Well i got kicked out of my house for my tattoo and i stood at Jamies' but it was only for like a day until i spoke to my cousin and i hear that my family is saying that i've been gone for 4 days and my dad was going to fly out here to find me. What fucking bullshit. So i just called them and told hem to relax and calm the fuck down. I'm home now but haven't seen my mom really yet. I really need a fucking car!

This past weekend was a pretty damn good one. Jamies' boy Dan from Fall out boy aka This is Hell was down here. We hung out with them in Tampa on Thursday, Dan and Rick stood at my house then we dropped them off in Orlando came back to the hill then hit up Orlando again on Saturday. It was alottt of fun Rick is a cool dude who slept on me half the time. Life on the road makes you tired. So Orlando is my new love. <3

Jeff is out here from Toledo, he's a fucking slutty whorish man with a blown out vag and green pussy secretion oozing out his pores. <3 I'm really glad he's here altho i've only got to see him twice and he leaves monday which make my chub totally invert. I have to see him again before he leaveeesss!!! and his son who's my fucking boyfriend!

Gary, my gay boy comes tomorrow and i'm so fucking stoked about that. He's staying here the first night then in some house he rented in Orlandooooo!!! It's going to be uber fucking sweet! GAY WEEK STARTS TOMORROW!

Jamie is the shit and i fucking owe her my existance. She's down for whatever and not a prissy butch who looks at me funny whenever i speak of fisting with chicken lard and spit. She's got my back and i love ittttt! If i go ANYFUCKINGWHERE she's coming with me and that's a true story. Her and ian are in love! Me and James are Done!

I wish i wasn't so boring and had more exciting shit for you to read. I promise life will one day be good enough to write about.

Pretty much......

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 18:14:16 GMT

The lonely bug is devouring me whole. kbye.

Beyond insomnia...

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 15:56:11 GMT

Well it's 11:39am and i still haven't slept but that's seriously nothing new with me. I really should go to the doctor and figure out my deal. My fucking plugs are annoying the shit out of me i need new ones. if anyone has 5/8 or even bigger that they have and don't want please please pleaseeeee give them to me.

Well I went to the Orpheum last night 3rd Saturday in a row, ha weird. Christina is such a chill as chick and i met Jess from n.y there and she's fucking chill as shit too. They're both hott as fuck, I love knowning such attractive ass motha fuckas for real.... ha ok let me not get into all that tho.

It was ok tho. Last week was better music wise. Jamie didn't come with me because she's in fucking Daytona so it so wasn't the same without her but having Christina there was chilllll. I love dancing and like i know what the fuck i'm doing when i really don't oh man i just love dancing, how lame am i? but blame it on the way i grew up. My parents are both insane fucking dancers.

oh let me fucking tell you about what happened on our way there... we're driving on the fucking highway and we just got into Tampa and I fucking blink and BOOM! we fucking hit something and it gave me a fucking flat tire. I don't know what the fuck it was or anything. I said it was a frozen dead baby... yea i don't know. but anyways i'm like 'ok i can do this, change a flat, no fucking problem! Then i realized i don't even have a full jack. then miraculously the fucking 'road ranger' comes out of fucking nowhere and chages it and leaves! i felt bad for not like giving him some sort of money, i even offered him dinner! haha. but thank god because i said nothing was going to stop me from going tonight!

MY FUCKING EAR!!!!!!! Someone hook me up with new plugs pleaseeeeeeeeeeee. I really don't want to take these fucks out for good, these shits i've got in my ear now are like the fucking worse! holy fucking stick a dick in my ear this shit is really bugging right now. I'm going to go do something about this. bye.

Raging storm inside of my skin

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 10:40:41 GMT

Ok so lately i've been really fucking distant and depressed and just really lame.

I'm really really fucking homesick. You have no idea. I miss New York, my friends there, my old life. I really really miss going to the city pretty much everyday, hitting up random parties. I miss rarely sleeping and have it be for a reason. I miss my gay boy Gary and all the shit we would get into. I miss Charlie from FlyRite, he's the greatest, I can't thank him enough for the ink on my arm for my b-day. I miss my Union kids. I miss Stella and the shit we would get into!!! I want to go to more random loft parties.I fucking miss Dan!! He's like the greatest man in existance, true fucking story! I miss Oscar, he was my right hand mannn. We had so many fucking awesome times together. I felt like I we were untouchable as stupid as that sounds. He was the best freind a girl could ever have! I miss underground skatepark! I fucking miss all my boys from there! I miss all my skating homies. I miss Franco! Storm! I miss being able to just drive around and enjoy doing it. I miss driving to brooklyn, i miss taking the train to the city. ha i miss doing nothing in front of Whatever. I miss Alonzo. I miss all the shows, they're just not the same out here. I miss Rhiannon!! I love that girl, I've known her for so long and she's always been the same amazing person from the day i met her. We've gone thru a whole fucking lot together! Shit!!!! I miss all the shit there was to do. I miss the diversity of people. Believe it or not people were alot more friendlier and welcoming over there than here. It's really really fucking clicky here. It's like some people don't like going place and meeting new people or even being around new people and that's the one fukcing thing i love the most!

I miss my fucking family! I don't get to see my little brother grow up or anything. I'm already missing my niece grow and it sucks. I miss my dad, even if he was a fucking pain in the ass. I miss my aunts and uncles and cousin. I really really miss my grandfather. He's really sick and i know he's not going to last long and i hate the thought that i'm going to be here if he passes. That's going to kill me. I pretty much have no fucking family out here. Only my mom, grandmother, 1 aunt and 1 uncle. I'm used to being surrounded by family no matter where i was. My mom and my grandmother are my fucking life, don't get me wrong. It's just hard. Our life out here is just so different. I feel horrible about wanting to go back home so bad because my mom is really fucking struggling out here. She really needs me and all i do is talk about going back home. I don't want to leave her and my grandmother alone but there's not much i can really do. I really want to do things but it's not here i want to do it.

Seriously don't get me wrong. Florida is not a horrible place. There's alot of really good people here and i've had fun here, but it's not 'home' it's really not where my heart is at. There are a few people here i wish i could take to New York with me because i love having them in my life.

This isn't a 'New York is better than Florida, die!' type of thing. Everyone really needs to fucking relax with that shit. It's just not the place for ME. If you're happy here then congrats on there sugarbooga. I'm sorry if you're offended by me wanting to go home so bad but i have my fucking reasons. like i'm sure you have yours on why you're never leaving here.

I really never been this unhappy, like i'm all teary eyed and all that dumb shit.

I don't care if anyone reads this or not i just need to get it all off my chest. If i didn't i know i would of exploded. Well i kind of already did break down while typing this. ugh. I hate being this way. I feel so alone, so depressed, so unhappy.

These pictures don't make me feel better but than again they don't make me feel worse.

Me and my Dad who i totally miss like crazy.... <3

Me and my cousins keeping it gangsta!

One of my favorite Cousins Mahgandy, she's the besttt and the strongest ah! i love her.

STELLA!!!! haha i can't explain how much i miss this one.
(you know you feeling my grill.)

I fucking miss Franco and Joey G! They're so grrrrreatt

OSCAR AND DAN!!!! FUCK! I love you guyssssss

The view from Roosevelt Island at around 5am.
oh how i miss this.

This is my grandfather!!! I love this man.
He's so money.

yea yea i got more just look in my photobucket under 'new york'

http://s67.photobucket.com/albums/h293/Public_Bathroom/New%20York/

kthxbaii!

haha @ baii.

shoot me.

I'm a fucking bum!

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 01:53:46 GMT

I wanted to do alot today but ended up sleeping the whole fucking day. I hate this shittt. I wanted to hang out with Reyes, he called me right when i was going to sleep at like 11am. I woke up at like 9pm. FUCK! Everyones at Neptunes but I know if i start to get ready they'll be leaving.

Fuck! I wanted to hang out with Jordan, he's in Tampa now. Damn i hope he's not mad. I'll go see him in Orlando.

Damn Jamie for leaving! She's in Daytona beachhhh.

Damn James for living so fucking far away! I love that boyyyy.

UGH!!! I'm fucking frustratedddd. I need to make a phone call kbye. I'll probably write another one again tonight.

Cunt Kunt Qunt Chunt Runt.

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 11:07:14 GMT

oh hey sex survey.........

1) have you ever had sex? If that's what you want to call it.....

2) did you lose your virginity to someone you loved? I lost it to a tranny... I loved the thought of having a girl and boy at the same time, does that count?

3) have you ever been someone's first? Well the other day I was teaching alittle girl how to ride a bike, i'm sure her hyman broke then....

4) have you kept track of how many people youve slept with? How many people are in your family? I fucked them ALL

5) how many? ya family tree nigga, act like you know.

6) have you ever given someone an orgasm? I'm damn good, ok? ok..... .

7) ever faked an orgasm? No fuck that shit, if it sucks i'll straight up let you know.

8) ever think of someone else during sex? hahahhaaaaaaaa!!!..@ACSDCFESCD$..%..@F%$..^!@!!

9) do you give head? I'm not a fan, but please feel free to go down.

10) are you a giver or a taker? I'll strap one on and give it to you good if you ask me nicely

11) ever say an ex's name in bed? God is my ex, so yes.

12) has anyone made you cum? Not without my help. Yes, sad. whatever.

13) who has been your best sex partner? Myself.

14) How do you like it, rough or soft? No pain, no gain.

15) Do you bite, pull hair etc? I'll admit i'm a beast. ha.

16) Would you have sex with someone you didnt love? dude I haven't had sex in so long oh man i just might.

17) one night stand? umm.... I don't know about that.

18) When was the last time you had sex? Let's not talk about it.

19) Do you like having sex? hahahahahahaha!!!

20) How many times have you had sex in a day? let's calculate..... let's say sex for an hour, sleep for and hour, there's 24 hours in a day. I did that for a day and a half. ummm.... hahaha oh man I hope no family members are reading this.

______________________________________________

SORRY TO THOSE WHO ARE RELATED TO ME AND REMEMBER ME IN DIAPERS.

don't worry I am now saving up money for the re-virgination surgery and looking to train as a nun shortly after.

ok none of that is true but beleive me i'm no whore. haha.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Except YOU.

Hmm...

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 08:10:19 GMT

I've been doing alot of thinking lately. I don't know if that's a good thing or not alot is on my mind. Ehh whatever tho. I'm tired time for bed.

doo doo

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:30:17 GMT

dooby

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:25:48 GMT

Sup fuckers. Yea i'm here to write about my pretty damn good weekend. Friday I umm... shit I forgot. Saturday Ernie came over here for once then we went and he skated with some kids at some ledge somewhere eh I duno then we went to B.K's house and he skated with bk, joeyg, brendan, and some other kid I don't know his name. Then we went to Applebee's ate then went back to bks house and played ping pong and watched skate videos. Those kids are really cool I don't know why Ernie doesn't chill with them more often. Yea so then I slept over Ernie's then we woke up and went with his parents to Coney Island and only got on the go carts then left and after we went to True Blue hung out with Christina, Gary, Henrik and Jaimie then Henrik tattooed my lip good times. I gotta say it was a chill ass weekend I need to have more like it. Come hang out!

it's bad.

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 04:39:59 GMT

Lalalala What to write? I suck at this LJ shit. i'm so fucking boring.

Today was amazing...

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 07:16:14 GMT

I woke up got dressed got into my car and drove to Williamsburg. Parked the car got on the J train, saw Chris on it, told him I was going to pick up Ernie so he came with me. Got to Ernie's job went up stairs and saw my baby. I fucking love that boy. He's so amazing and gorgeous and omg so much more. We left his job passed by a hair salon asked if they had any openings today they said at 6-6:30 so we left. Chris got on the train we went to a store and I got myself a coat. We went to my favorite diner in the city, Silver Spurs, then went back to the salon and Ernie got a hair cut I think i'm going to go there Thursday to get my hair done. Anyways we left got on the train went to my car and went to Ernie's house. We watched Cat in the hat and pimp my ride. Ernie fell asleep on me i wish i could of just stood there and slept next to him but I had to come home. I love just hanging out with him spending my day with him is fucking amazing. AHHH!! I need my own fucking place so he can stay with me. Grrrr!!

My god Nabisco keeps farting and it fucking smells really fucking bad. For alittle dog he's got a strong scent.

two post in one day

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 02:02:13 GMT

yaya

To cheat or not to cheat......

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 23:26:02 GMT

Truth is right now I can't even think about it without getting sick. I'm in love and that shit right there is real. I can't see myself fucking up real love for some cheap fling. Right now I feel if you can cheat then there is honestly no point in being in a serious relationship with someone. If you're not in a serious relationship then i guess whatever as long as there is no feelings involved like no serious feelings because you never know how much you can hurt someone if they were to find out. there's people who kill themselves because of the pain it puts them tru. No one ever realizes how strong love really is. It's what gets people up in the morning, it's what brings happiness to peoples day. It makes them look forward to the next day. Yea sure you should never hurt yourself over anyone very true but not everyone understands that. In my case if it wasn't for love right now I would be probably really depressed, I'm going thru alot of shit and my man is like the only one there for me at the moment and I thank him for it soo much. He brings the biggest smile to my face. I don't know what the fuck i would do if he cheated on me. I would be fucking crushed. That shit is no joke.

If you're in a relationship and cheating crosses your mind you should question exactly how happy you are in the relationship you're in and if it's something you would want to go thru because seriously if you're going to cheat most likely you and the person you cheated on aren't going to be together forever so why waste each others time? Life is too short for that shit. Being cheated on hurts like hell. Why do it to someone? Some people do it for revenge, You should never lower yourself. Karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around so people get what they deserve in some way or another no need for you to go out and seek revenge like that.

Cheating is not having friends of the oppostie sex. Cheating is crossing the line with the opposite sex or even the same sex. Kissing, fucking, even flirting to an extreme. To some there is no such thing as harmless flirting because it usually leads to something extreme. If you're with someone and you're flirting with someone else you may know that it's nothing serious but does the other person know that? Sometimes flirting is leading someone on, to flirt just to fuck with someones head even tho you're not going to do shit is fucked up because that means you play games and most people don't have time for that shit.

You can still befreind the opposite sex as long as you don't keep them a secret with the one you're with because that's some suspicious shit. If you plan on staying faithful no need for secrets like that. If you feel like you're keeping it a secret because of the fact you know the one you're with is the jealous type and might get mad then you're making the biggest mistake you can because if they find out then you're just making the jealously worse and they may never be able to fully trust you. The best thing to do is have shit out in the open cuz then there's nothing to bitch about because you kept it honest and it shows that you can be trusted and shit. Blah

Where the hell did this come from? Well I was watching diaries of a affair. What the fuck, if you're walking down the isle you must know what you're doing.

I'm hungry i'm going to find food. Kthx.

"We all want to fall in love. Why?
Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,
where every sense is heightened,
and every emotion is magnified.
Our everyday reality is shattered
and we are flying into the heavens.
It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon,
but that doesn't diminish its value,
because we are left with memories
that we treasure for the rest of our lives."

It's been a while...

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 21:06:33 GMT

Yea i haven't really written anything in here in a while. I'm back tho. Life's ok for now but it can sooo be better. I could be rich living in Cali. For now i'm broke in New york. Whatever. My boys are back, and i'm sooo fucking stoked. GlassJAw will be playing in December. There's no better x-mas gift then that. I need to find people who want to go with me. Ernie doesn't seem like he wants to go. Fuck it i'll go alone if i have too. Head Automatica is great but I love my GlassJAw. Ahh!! ahh well anyways Halloween is coming up I duno what i'm going to be or do, Nabisco's going to be a pimp. I know my moms having a party the night before. I'm leaving for Az in November I kind of can't wait. I miss my niece soo much plus i'm going to Las Vegas. I just want to hit up the skate parks. I haven't been skating for like a week, I need to go!. Someone come with me! It'll be lots of fun! Well I don't really have much to say right now. So umm... yea.
Nabisco's Halloween costume.....